How to Make Friends
Simple, practical tips to help children and teenagers build friendships, feel included and connect with others.
Everyone wants to feel that they belong.
Making friends can feel easy for some people and difficult for others. You might be shy, have moved to a new school or simply haven't found people who share your interests yet.
If you've experienced bullying or been left out, approaching new people can feel particularly difficult.
But friendships can begin with the smallest things: a smile, a conversation or discovering something you both enjoy.
You don't need to become a different person to make friends. You just need opportunities to meet people who appreciate you.
What Makes Someone a Good Friend?
Being a good friend isn't about being the loudest, funniest or most popular person in the room.
It's about how you treat other people and how they treat you in return.
Kindness
Good friends try to be thoughtful, supportive and considerate. They notice when someone needs encouragement or a little help.
Listening
Friendship works both ways. Showing interest in what someone says can help them feel valued.
Respect
Friends don't have to agree about everything. You can have different interests and opinions while still treating each other well.
Being Yourself
You should feel comfortable being yourself around friends, without pressure to pretend, show off or join in with unkind behaviour.
Ten Simple Ways to Make Friends
- Start with a hello.
A friendly greeting can be the beginning of a conversation. - Smile when you feel comfortable.
A natural smile can help someone feel welcome. You don't have to force it. - Ask a question.
Try something simple such as "What did you think of that lesson?" or "Do you play this game too?" - Find something in common.
Music, sport, books, gaming, films or hobbies can give you something to talk about. - Listen as well as talk.
Show an interest in the other person's experiences and ideas. - Include someone else.
If you notice someone standing alone, you could invite them to join you. - Offer encouragement.
A kind word or genuine compliment can make someone feel appreciated. - Join an activity.
Clubs, teams and shared projects provide opportunities to meet people naturally. - Give friendships time.
You don't have to become best friends immediately. Trust develops gradually. - Notice who makes you feel good.
Look for people who are kind, respectful and interested in getting to know you too.
Feeling Shy? Start Small
If approaching people makes you nervous, you don't need to try everything at once.
Choose just two or three things to practise this week.
For example, you might say hello to someone new, ask a classmate a question or join an activity you enjoy.
Some people will respond warmly. Others may be busy, distracted or simply not looking for a new friendship at that moment.
That doesn't mean you've failed. Not every conversation becomes a friendship, and that's perfectly normal.
If social situations regularly cause you intense anxiety, talk to a trusted adult about how you're feeling.
Making Friends After Bullying
When you've been bullied, trusting people again can take time. You may worry that someone will reject you, laugh at you or leave you out.
It's understandable to feel cautious. You don't have to rush into new friendships before you're ready.
Take Your Time
Start with small conversations and shared activities. There's no deadline for making a close friend.
Look Beyond One Group
Friendships can develop in different places, including clubs, activities and communities outside school.
Choose People Who Respect You
Notice whether someone listens, respects your boundaries and treats you kindly.
Ask for Support
If bullying has affected your confidence, a parent, teacher or counsellor may be able to help you feel safer and more comfortable around others.
You Don't Have to Chase Friendship
Friendship should involve effort from both people.
If someone repeatedly ignores you, makes fun of you or only includes you when it suits them, you don't have to keep trying to win their approval.
Being accepted should never depend on allowing someone to treat you badly.
What If You're Being Deliberately Left Out?
Sometimes friendship difficulties are more than ordinary disagreements or changing interests.
If someone repeatedly encourages others to ignore you, deliberately isolates you or uses exclusion to hurt you, this may be a form of bullying.
Read our guide to exclusion bullying for more information and advice.
If you're being excluded or bullied at school, tell a trusted adult. You shouldn't have to solve the problem by yourself.
Friendship Problems at School
What If I Don't Have Any Friends?
It can feel lonely, but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.
Try activities where you can meet people with shared interests, and ask a teacher or trusted adult to help you find opportunities to connect.
What If My Friends Fall Out with Me?
Disagreements happen in most friendships. If you feel safe, try talking calmly about what happened and listening to each other's point of view.
Sometimes friendships recover. Sometimes people move on, and that's OK too.
What If I'm Always the One Making an Effort?
Friendship works best when both people show an interest.
It's fine to reach out, but you deserve friendships where you feel wanted and valued.
What If I Feel Different from Everyone Else?
You don't have to share every interest or behave exactly like other people to make friends.
Often, the most rewarding friendships develop when people appreciate each other's differences.
Making Friends Online
Online communities can help you connect with people who share your interests, particularly through games, hobbies and creative activities.
But it's important to stay safe. Don't share private information, passwords, your address or personal photographs with people you don't know and trust.
If someone pressures you, makes you uncomfortable or behaves unkindly, you can stop communicating, block or report them and tell a trusted adult.
For more guidance, read our advice about cyberbullying.
Friendship Begins with Kindness
One of the simplest ways to make a friend is to help someone else feel included.
Invite someone to join a conversation. Make room for someone in a group. Notice when a person seems left out.
Small acts of kindness can make a real difference, whether or not they lead to a friendship.
You don't need lots of friends to be happy. A few genuine friendships can mean much more than being popular.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I make friends if I'm shy?
Start with small steps, such as saying hello or asking someone about a shared interest. You can build confidence gradually without forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations.
How long does it take to make a friend?
There's no set timetable. Some friendships develop quickly, while others grow through regular conversations and shared experiences.
Should I change myself to fit in?
No. It's good to learn social skills and treat others considerately, but you shouldn't have to hide who you are or accept mistreatment to belong.
What if someone doesn't want to be my friend?
That can feel disappointing, but everyone has the right to choose their friendships. Respect their decision and remember there are other people you may connect with.
What if bullying has made me afraid to trust people?
Give yourself time. Start with people who make you feel safe and consider talking to a trusted adult or counsellor about your experiences.
More Advice and Support
If you're struggling with friendships, loneliness or bullying, support is available.
Children and young people in the UK can contact Childline free on 0800 1111.
If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.