Bullying by Exclusion: Understanding Group Dynamics and How to Cope

Bullying by exclusion is one of the most painful and often overlooked forms of bullying. In UK schools, many children suffer in silence after being left out at school, frozen out of friendship groups, or subtly pushed aside in clubs and classrooms. This kind of social bullying can leave deep emotional scars, affecting confidence, school performance, and mental health. At Act Against Bullying, we believe that understanding group dynamics in schools is essential to tackling exclusion. When children, parents, and teachers recognise the warning signs and know how to support positive peer behaviour, we can help stop bullying before it takes root. This page explores how groups work, why exclusion happens, and what every child can do to feel seen, supported, and strong.

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Social Bullying In Schools

Groups shape everything— social bullying in schools is common amongst friendships, school teams, clubs. Children long to belong, and that desire drives much of their social world. Psychologist Bruce Tuckman explained group development with a five-stage model: forming, storming, norming, performing, and later, adjourning.

Understanding these stages helps explain why children sometimes get left out or targeted. These stages matter. They show how a group grows—or fractures.

Group Rule #1: Take it Slow If You Are Left Out At School

Forming kicks things off. A new class, a fresh club—everyone’s polite, cautious, figuring out who’s who. It’s a gentle dance of impressions. No one wants to stand out too much. The aim? Belonging. That early vibe lays the groundwork.

Group Rule #2: Expect Choppiness at the Start

Then comes storming. This one stirs things up. Real personalities surface. There’s jostling, sometimes sniping. And here’s the thing—bullying by exclusion often starts now. The quiet child might get sidelined. A louder one takes charge. Arguments pop up, and those on the edge risk falling off. But this storm matters. Without it, the group doesn’t find its feet.

Group Rule #3: Don’t Rock the Boat

Once they’ve weathered the storm, norming brings calm. Now, respect grows. Teammates recognise each other’s strengths. The group feels like a proper unit. Less drama, more cooperation.

Group Rule #4: Appreciate the Teamwork

At the performing stage, it clicks. This is the dream—projects run smoothly, ideas bounce, laughter flows. Everyone feels seen, heard, involved. The group hums along like a top-tier orchestra.

Group Rule #5: Stand Up to Bullying in Groups

Still, even top groups hit snags. Bullying can creep in. Exclusion, eye-rolls, whispers. It often starts back in the storming phase, when someone craves control. A ringleader might poke fun, freeze someone out, or dominate every chat. That vibe sours everything.

The key? Create an atmosphere where every voice matters. Not just the loudest. Kids thrive when they feel safe to speak and know they won’t be ridiculed. It’s called psychological safety—and it’s vital.

Experts like Dr Christina Maslach stress group resilience—keeping tabs on each other, sharing the load, managing stress together. Think of it like training with a team. You back each other. You keep going.

What Group Dynamics In Schools Means for Kids

Understanding these stages gives children an edge. They know the bumpy bits are normal. They can handle the shift between stages without panic. They learn when to speak, when to listen, and how to stop group exclusion in its tracks.

Because the truth is, not everyone stays in the same group. Kids drift, switch, get left behind. But when they know how groups tick, they stay strong. They build better bonds. They cope with rejection, spot toxic patterns early, and move on with confidence.

Being a group player means more than just fitting in. It means growing, learning, and lifting others. And that’s a skill for life.

Learn more about our mission and what Act Against Bullying does to support children facing social bullying in schools.