To overcome bullying needs a lot of courage.
You can do it if you set your mind to it.
Remember Elvis had no friends as a child because he was poor and ‘dressed funny’. He was different too. Being different is probably why you are being targeted. However being different can be an asset.
Some advice we hope will help:
- Focus on the areas in which you are successful, whatever they are.
- Watch television programmes that make you laugh, not frighten you.
- Always tell your parents or someone you can trust. Tell them ‘please don’t make a fuss at school’ if you don’t want them to.
- If you don’t want to tell your parents try a friend out of school or a relative. It is important someone knows what you are going through.
- Don’t let your friends exclude you easily. If you are being bullied this is what may happen to you
- If you know or have been told you have a habit which irritates people in your group then try to change your behaviour. Get an adult you trust to advise you.
- If you are being ‘picked on’ for no reason at all then do not change your behaviour. Trying to please bullies will not make any difference. It is important you ask an adult for help.
- If someone sticks up for you when you are being ‘picked on’, always say ‘Thank you’ to them. They deserve it.
- Focus on long term goals. Think about what you want to become when you leave school. You will not have to mix with bullies forever.
- If you are in a group and want to stay in, copy some aspect of the group’s behaviour, but never everything.
- Learn everything you can about the bully. Try and find out why they are bullying you. Knowledge is power.
- Guard your secrets carefully.
- Write all events down in a diary.
- Treat it as a challenge to outwit your bully
- Try not to engage in fighting back either physically or verbally.
- Stand and walk tall. Don’t look like a victim!
- Don’t react aggressively and always avoid danger.
- If someone stares you out, do not engage in a staring match but look them in the eye and then move your gaze somewhere else. DO NOT LOOK DOWN.
- Apologise when you are genuinely in the wrong.
- Tell them you don’t want any trouble.
- Make sure you talk to your bully in a calm way with normal volume. Don’t whisper or shout.
- Never react to insults if you can help it. These are only to provoke you. Tell yourself that they are only words and they cannot harm you unless you let them.
- Keep yourself at a safe distance from bullies but being alone can attract attention. Try to have some company at least some of the time.
- Be aware of your surroundings, i.e. your classroom. When you enter a room try and take in who is in there and where they are. Try and find somewhere you feel comfortable to sit. Be aware of where the doors are and don’t isolate yourself in a corner.
- See if you can join a club out of school to learn a new skill which will rebuild your confidence.