Passive Aggressive Bullying: The Silent Threat
Ask a room full of people to raise their hands if they’ve been bullied, and you’ll likely see a sea of hands go up. Ask if they’ve ever bullied someone else, and you’ll get silence. No one wants the “B” label. But bullying has to start somewhere.
Traditional bullying is easy to recognise—name-calling, threats, physical intimidation. But what about the subtle, less obvious ways people undermine, isolate, or manipulate others either singly or within groups? With the rise of anti-bullying policies in schools and workplaces, has bullying simply gone underground?
Some organisations now criminalise offence, implementing strict hate speech policies or restricting certain words. While well-intentioned, does this push people towards passive aggression rather than open hostility? And if so, is passive-aggressive behaviour a form of bullying?
Recognising Passive Aggressive Bullying
Unlike outright aggression, passive-aggressive bullying works by undermining others in indirect ways. It’s insidious, harder to prove, and often disguised as miscommunication or incompetence. Have you experienced any of the following?
- The silent treatment
- Refusing to help when asked
- Cutting someone off mid-conversation
- Ignoring calls or emails
- Excluding others from social gatherings
- Showing up late to meetings
- Failing to complete work on time
- Prioritising others over a specific colleague
- Sabotaging ideas
- Taking credit for someone else’s work
- Withholding praise or recognition
- Blaming problems on others
Each of these behaviours chips away at confidence, productivity, and workplace morale. It creates a hostile environment where people feel unsupported but struggle to call out the behaviour because it’s so subtle.
Why Does Passive Aggressive Bullying Happen?
Psychologists suggest that passive aggression often stems from a fear of direct confrontation. In workplaces or schools where direct criticism is discouraged, people may resort to these quieter tactics to express frustration, control situations, or push their own agenda. In some cases, it’s a learned behaviour—if direct aggression leads to consequences, people find other ways to manipulate.
The Impact
Just like direct bullying, passive aggression can have long-term consequences. It can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and decreased performance at work or school. In extreme cases, it contributes to burnout, social withdrawal, and even depression. The lack of visible confrontation makes it harder to report, leaving many victims without support.
Addressing the Issue
As anti-bullying policies evolve, we need to be mindful of the grey areas. Labelling everything as bullying risks watering down the term, but ignoring subtle mistreatment allows it to thrive.
At Act Against Bullying, we work with parents, schools, and young people to raise awareness of all forms of bullying, including passive aggression. While we can’t promise to eradicate bullying altogether, we can campaign to curb its excesses and support those affected.
